The Moment, When Past hits you Back!

Really don’t know either we live for some happy moments or moments are making life happier!

Life is all about moments, Some are happy while some are bad , some are remembered for forever while some meant to be forgotten, Some moments we are proud of while some we always regret.

But there are some moments in your life which are very special , Untold & stored into permanent storage of your heart not because of you experienced incredible thing but because of the special feeling of  those moments being spent with the one you care about, the one you love, the one whom you never ever forget irrespective wherever you go.

Moments create Memories & Memories of a person who is no more into your life makes your life a bit tougher to live with those memories in your mind. And as of now there isn’t any mechanism to erase all the past memories. Chances are high that you may hit any of those memories in your present & they may drag you to your past which you once lived cheerfully at that time but now you want it to get buried there in grave of time.

Thoughts travel faster than light; I went to mall for buying a wrist watch, supposedly a gift to me from my side which was pending since my last birthday. During that time I was choosing a watch from me, I came across women section of watches just to have glance what there in trend. There was plenty of new design, different vibrant colors & amazingly fashionable watches. From all that watches, my eyes got to stick to one watch which was third from the left from upper second row of his display counter. Watch having Silver toned dial having circular base & crystal embellishments near the dial & has fixed stone inside it. It was exactly the same watch which Ayesha used to wear; I always used to admire her watch whenever we used to meet. Thoughts of her were the only thing my mind could think of at that time.

Although we haven’t met for close to 4 years but a tiny second glance over that watch drove me to whole of my past in few seconds.  I was into memories of past where holding her hand was a habit, listening to her was addiction & thinking about her was like one of life supporting function.  But I forget one important thing said by Einstein, “Change is the only Constant thing in the world.” Same happens, we did change a lot: physically, mentally & off course emotionally. Now we don’t share emotions as we used to do. We don’t talk as we used to.

Time flew; we came to different cities, doing different things differently. Probably she must be having another guy in her life adding up new memories to her life with her special moments.

Many thoughts were juggling up in my mind that point of time, which was stopped by the distraction of the annoying sound made by someone else cell phone!

I smiled at my destiny & believed in Luck saying that, “It’s not the right time to buy a watch” & stepped out the shop to live my same monotonous life again which I am living for past four years.

P.S = Something didn’t go the way we want to & somethings are bound to get wrong irrespective of what you do. But it’s not where we stop & cry. It’s the time we should keep going & try until we get what we deserve.

Apology Accepted: Chapter Closed

Almost after 2 years, she felt that she did wrong & apologized for the same. Does this Apology will have made any difference between us?

It’s been four months; I am talking to her after the long gap of eighteen months which I dont myself know what exactly went wrong between us at that point of time.  Although we always try to avoid talking about past always but yesterday was different. 

During these four months, I hardly had ten conversations with her over facebook that too normal, the way I talk to any other facebook friend, we talk about what she is doing with her life, about her job in new city. In the course of talking over few months, I had realized that we both kind of moved on from each other. We are emotionally stable now & I should say bit emotionally mature, and are living a comfortable single life without being liable & bounded to tell each other everything  we came across as we used to do earlier. I think, it is good for both of us to start a new chapter of life in new cities as we both are in different cities.

But still something inside me, there was some pages of past which were unwritten &  finding an answer since then. I don’t say they got their answer but I think they find their reason to remain *BLANK*

Between Me & Ayesha, story started long back in 2010 when we were in our graduation, when we only have mission just to clear the semester exams & have vision to have end with first class degree. We both completed our mission & vision but in between the process of achieving targets somewhere, our story lost their vision of living together. As graduation end came, it came along with end of our story. It was like she came into my life with time bound offer which I failed to realize in the beginning. Graduation Marksheet came & giving me smiling sarcasm for what I did to her (I could have studied more). But this love story didn’t give me any of the scorecards as it ended abruptly. Now after 2 years, i got the Apology scorecard, I was confused what to do it with it.

Late Apology is like giving water to crops when they are already been wasted due to scarcity of resources. But in her case, I thought its better for me accept that as it will help me to live my life more comfortably without being finding the reason what went wrong.

I don’t  know whether this late Apology of her make sense in general or not but yes  this Apology definitely make sense what happened between us in the past . I don’t know what this Apology gonna make any change between us. But it will help me to close all the previous chapters which were linked to her.

Thank you for Apology!

P.S = Again you are the inspiration for this Blogpost. 

A Letter to Leo from Libra

Dear Leo

As Leo People always tries to find something good in every situation, so I hope this letter from Libra would definitely makes your day good, A day which comes only once in a year.

As I don’t know her name yet, I only knew her that tomorrow is her birthday as she talking over phone to someone about her birthday so I guess, her zodiac is Leo.

So this is my gift to that Leo gal, whom I might never gonna see her again in my remaining life.

A tall & ambitious gal, looks like what exactly a perfect gal should look like as she was wearing a Black Dress, a complete perfect mixture elegancy & beauty.

Then I saw her entering into Mango Store; probably she was looking for her Birthday Dress.  At that time, my stars were lucky enough as there weren’t any other customer apart from her, so even I entered the store pretending I want to shop something from there.

A pretty gal & Normal Me, along with few salesman and huge number of princess kind of dresses which even can make anyone look pretty. So, I took charge as I don’t wanna  get cursed by my future that I didn’t  even make effort for to talk.

I approached her, said,”Happy Birthday!”

She gave a confused look, and just responded “Thanks, but its tomorrow”

I Responded, “I can’t wait for next 24 hours to wish a special Leo gal to wish her special birthday whom I might I don’t find tomorrow.”

She Nodded & smiled!

Her smile makes my time to stop for few seconds,makes my mind numb & gave a memory that will come along with me in my grave. Then my destiny came to picture & it overpowered my dwindling luck, when she said, “I gotta go.”

Her smile makes me realize that there Few Things which money can’t buy & Life is worth if you have someone special whose smile is important to you more than anything else. Although I might never gonna see her again, I might never gonna know her name but one thing I am sure of her memory gonna stay with me forever.

Happy Birthday to Best Looking Leo gal, May you get whatever you want.

Regards
Libra

Finally I did message after 18 months

Yesterday wasn’t a simple day for sure; it was quite anonymous day for me which came up with different Sun, trying to burn my hidden secrets  which I never want to get noticed.

Like any other night, I did sleep but it wasn’t a sleep of night it was a sleep of questions! Many questions were popping into my mind! Yes, It was about her, yes it was about the good morning gal Ayesha! 

Although it’s been 18 months that I have woke up daily only with blank screen of mobile. But still some part inside me still expects a message ,which is beyond my control.

These 18 months were different at least for me, one good thing happened that I met myself, the person to whom I was hiding since many years. There used to be times where every sunshine made me feel that she is near, But time has really changed, now I had some fears.

Time has changed so fast, I came to Hyderabad just to be occupied by my work but one thing that didn’t left me alone every single day   was memories of past to whom I wanna escape.

So yesterday with all the courage I messaged to her over facebook….

“Helllllllllozzzzzz Ayesha……..

Howz you

Without expectation of reply, I am messaging because I really wanna talk!
Yes I am being selfish here, I wanna talk & here I am on your Fb wall nd messaging you”

I did this message to gal who used to lives few miles away. But unfortunately message went 959 miles away from it where she is living now. Yes she had moved to different city. It made me nerveless for many seconds but my numb mind still pretends its fine! But it wasn’t at that time!

Sometime people are really far away that no technology made you connect to them. It was just few months back when I used to know what breakfast they had eaten & now they are too far to be asked anything.

She did reply to every single message from a new city but with a same tone that made me forced to dig our past again.

I really don’t know is it a start of other painful journey or is it gonna cure previous sins. I want it to be normal.

Again it’s my destiny which is overpowering my dwindling luck, making me amuse what is going to happen!

One thing was different today, this time her messages come up with emotions which wants to say something aloud which I failed to hear.It felt that her messages are hiding something. As she was in hurry so asked me come up next time, will there be a next time or it was just the illusion !

“Living Life is such a tricky game that makes you clean bowled even when you are enjoying at pavilion”

“Kuch  Rattein ban jattein hain khaas

Jis din hoo jaye tumse baat karne ka ehsas

Teri batton ka to mujhe hain kch aisa nasha
jo naa hoo to , ab zindgi lagti mujhe sazaa..”

I had so many things to tell her but from where to start…………………………..or better I should stop!

People call it CLUB, I call it FAMILY

Hey Blogdosts

I know, It’s been a huge time since I last posted a blog, but IBS Hyderabad doesn’t really give me time to pursue it anymore, or should I say, I was never felt about writing since I landed in the City of Nizam.

Life in MBA is like being SUN & MOON at the same time, it doesn’t give you time even to pee, still being a lazy brat I had managed somehow to live here.  Before I joined here, I don’t have any idea what  really I want to do with my remaining fifty years of life, But one thing I was really sure of that, I do born with DNA of capital market. I really don’t know whether I am really good in it or not but when rest of children were watching Cartoon Network, I was forced to sit in front of CNBC by my father because he wants to see it. Although I never understood what they blabbered in English during that of point of time but it was always discussion of night during my childhood.

Somehow during that time, if market rallies, we could really demand of Ice-creams & if market falls, it was dinner is only thing we can expect. So I brought up with only knowledge, on which day I along with siblings can ask for Ice creams.

Being an IBS student isn’t really luxury but being a part of Virddhi is really something special. Here I found people whose DNA also contains capital Market. So, in biological terms, if your DNA matches with some other, you are family.

So, it’s my new family now called Virddhi family, here I get know it’s not only about asking Ice creams in the night. It’s really something different from it. 

Words will be crime to describe my new family.  But today I had learnt one thing from one of the brightest member of family Saurabh Prabhu , “ In kalyag, Everything things needs to have a face value” . Probably advice of his I am gonna carry for lifelong & writing all this for every member of it.

So, let me introduce you all with few members of family. Let me start with Existing Senior people of the family

Subrat Sahoo
Zero Day Placement, JPMC.  What else you need to know. This is the kind of person you always want to be, 9+ pointers, Plays cricket, True Vriddhite. Even he had of hobby of calling juniors in the night discussing Philosophical matter with them . Every investor fails to interpret the momentum of his stock & even shock to see huge rally in him always every moment.

Ashwin

Probably a value stock of Virddhi, kind of knowledge he has, sometime forced me to think he must know all these things from his last birth. Calm Personality, a person doesn’t believe in knowledge sharing, he is kind of person, who makes you gather all the knowledge on your own without even letting you know. I still confuse how he does that.  Salute for making me work on Inflation & Abenomics, which I easily could get it from you.

Abhishek Shah                          

Another JPMC placed personality, a person from different planet. A kind of stock which no one could ever predict the move he makes. He is a Time Machine of Virddhi, which accurately predict the price levels of stocks. Chilled out person of club, handles everything like cake-walk.


The list continues with

Ankit

its only person which I found it overqualified for this place. He should be somewhere in RBI. Knowledge, the person has about monetary policies, No one can beat that person for sure & the confidence his key to success. Whether it’s Derivatives or Currency, his analysis matters a lot. Another Best quality of that person is, he can leave any meeting in between without letting any other know.


There are many great names in the list & everything has something special about them, Shreya ( Negative Day Placement), Mohit ( A live Fundamental Analyst),  Anurag Mantri ( Technical Expert), Sahil ( Marketing can’t be done without you), varhsa( ICRA girl),Mithun ( just one word Stock Expert)

List continues……………..

Now coming to juniors (Small cap Today, Blue chips  Tomorrow)

Saurabh Prabhu
A mumbaikar guy, for whom analyzing the stock is as easy as changing clothes for us. I don’t know his Mantra & but People call it ‘Extra Power’. Above all, what I think ,He is genuine stock which has given consistent returns in the past.  And I will admire your words whatever you said to me today & tries to improvise that & also your advice matters me & keep throwing it.


VR_Rajeev
 He is an Eagle eye of virddhi, the way he looks the stock or sector , no one can imagine that. Please help us in that BRO.  A real Virddhite is another adjective for him.

Sristhi

A Homely gal, some people even call it ‘’DIDI’’, a good singer, who loves to get clicked & off course I will not write that you like food the most.  It’s only gal, to whom we can say ECONOMICS runs into your Blood.

Gaurav

He is best stock-picker, we can ever have!  I don’t know how you do that but dude I really admire your art & gives due importance to every stock, Whether it’s Aurobindo pharma or SREI infra or any other!

Pulkit

Emotional character of family & is best in handling everything so smoothly no one even can think of.  Hard work is really not a word for him, off course he just do something more than that.


Even here also list continues

Pooja ( who always remind me to speak slow), Gattu ( a true friend & die hard virddhite), Sunay ( Charming Boy of club), Drishika ( people call it Daru), Ankur ( Ajanta pharma zindabad) ,Anumeha ( Two-club girl), Anurag ( Hard Worker), Vignesh ( 9 pointer) , Trisha ( A multi bagger  talent), Neha ( Expert's Advice) , Vishesh ( Admire your listening skills), Vishnu( please Don’t speak Hindi in front of any gal), Prince ( Macro- stock) ,Nitish (Talented person), Laksh ( Chilled person of club), Nivetha ( Multi talented),Aditya ( Dedication is the word for you)

Shubham
A person who really read this script in midnight & encourage me post it & also make me realize I does lot  of grammatical errors while writing. Thanks for that! Thums up!

As this script already crossed 1000 words, I wanna end up saying that For anyone to whom Vriddhi matters, matters me a lot!

Hyderabad: A Crowded Paradise

It’s been sixteen days that I have successively passed in the city, which is 1100 miles away from my home land.

For you it might be just sixteen revolution of earth around the sun, but for me it’s like I have born 16^th time, every time with new desire, new challenges & with some new pretty faces. I haven’t thought of such thing that gonna happen to me but now it’s like I belong to Hyderabad now. It’s like every day we born for different purpose here.

It was my first visit to the “city of nawabs” & now I am attached to it. Here I have felt that 24hrs is too short to live a whole day. You have so much to do; parties’ with new friends, attending classes, photography, playing badminton, enjoying movies and list goes on. Here you have to cut short your sleep in order to live a lively life every day.

It’s was all about Hyderabad, but it’s not the reason I am writing this blog & thing which forces me to write is my PAST.

29^TH JUNE, 2013

I was having moment of my life, after class parties, hanging out with my friends & coming late at nights. But that day was different, I was putting some important dossiers back to my bag , then I found some torn papers , firstly appeared like some bills , which make curious what I have bought so preciously that I have put it my bag for so long. So I carefully handled the torn the paper & tries to analyze what it is!!

CRAP!
FUCK!

It was two movie tickets of Cineplex in Gurgaon, dated 4^th march. Everything was going just fine into my life until I analyzed the torn papers, which I might not know what they are doing inside.  For anyone, it could be movie tickets but it really shocked my life for a second & these two tickets showed me the landscape view of what had happened with me on 4^th march (a day that can’t erased from my memory) in a second. I was silent, not aware of what to do, just glaring the walls continuously & aimlessly.

I was amazed by full stop given by life in the middle of so called none less than perfect life that I always dreamt of living. Those two tickets have no worth to anyone, but it still had enough force to drag me to my past which I was forgotten. It reminds me of person who never forgets to remind me a good morning every sunny day in my past. It was about her.

It was tickets of last movie that we have seen together on our last meeting.

It was like I am standing at the same place at gurgaon, forcing myself to think everything will be all right, believing nothing had happened! But destiny already clean bowled my luck way before I thought. It was just 4^th March that destiny chose to raise the finger to give me directions for going back to pavilion.

It’s almost 4 months that I haven’t seen her and I still haven’t taken my stand on this! I am just avoiding it, will avoid it for forever. I don’t want to accuse her for going way without a reason. Sometime there could be reason too for not giving a reason. Because there is nothing right or wrong happens in life, it happens because it was bound to happen. It was just like we both chose our life against each other. One thing that no one can ever steal is ‘memories’ of all wired things we did together. 

If it was the failed relationship that gave me so much of happiness, imagine what comes along with the real package!!!

Now , coming back to Hyderabad - a life , where no one wanna miss single second to be their life to be a part of it. Will post next blog soon………

Keep Checking…J J

Serendepity

My grey cells have already lost their battle against veins of my heart in coming to the conclusion, Am I really addicted to her or is it just chemical imbalance in my mind!

February 8, 2013

Rumors of love were on everyone’s minds! Everyone wants to change their relationship status before 14^th February. Being a non-believer of love & hatred of relationship, I was accompanying my friend who recently had broke up on that day. I dunno know what I was doing there, but friends always used to call me whenever they had broken up with their current girl friends.

He was crying & begging her to come back into her life over phone.

I was just wondering, Today is just a same day like rest of the year while some of the people are busy with their girlfriends &  some of them are crying for their girl-friends. And I was enjoying free VODKA shots in gurgaon.

Rohit- Why does she do this to me? I would do anything to be with her again! Tell me Ajay, WHY?

Me- (With same set of break-up dialogues)

        Look Rohit, Everything happens for the purpose of good! Don’t think it as Break-up, Take it as a     lesson.  Even Divya was not the right girl for you my friend. There must be some good fortune of your’s that she isn’t more to ruin your remaining life. May be it’s time for new girl to enter your life.

Rohit- Hmmm (with a sip of vodka…)

Me- And have you ever look at her butt carefully, seems like flat watermelon even without the partition!

  (We both giggles & Finally Divya’s story was coming to end slowly , to distract his attention , I shifted the topic )

Me- why don’t you try on Pooja, even she is interesting in you. Chances are higher, Might be you could get your new girl friend by valentine.

Rohit- Misson Pooja!!!  Pooja going to be my next girlfriend!

She was already into my priority list in case I have ever lost my interest in Divya ever in future. But I can’t be with Divya anymore. It’s the right time to strike the iron.

Me- Ok bro, I think I should leave! 

Rohit- Thanks for Today!

Me- Thanks for the VODKA!  If you gonna offer me Vodka every time you had a break-up! , I would wish you do have it every Sunday.

Rohit- fuck off!

Finally we stepped out of the bar. He straight went to his BMW.               He dropped me to MG road; from there I can get easily Auto-rickshaw.

It was 11 pm & I was at MG road waiting for an appropriate costing Auto-rickshaw. I had already refused to 10 auto-rickshaws because they were out of my limited budget of 50 rupee note in my pocket.

Finally, I found an auto that would drop me to Sector-17 in exactly in my budget.  As I was stepping inside the Auto, I heard the very delicious voice.

Can we share this Auto?

A mesmerizing voice was coming from the back; I turned back just to check out the source of sound!

There was simply awesome fair girl with I-phone in the hand was standing beside me!

I can still recall the charm, she was wearing that day. It might be because of her over-branding clothes & the premium accessories but she had the persona that I never felt before!

Words would be the crime, if I describe the beauty. She is the best looking girl that I have ever seen till now.

She came closer to me & said –“Actually, my car has broken down & it’s not safe to travel for me alone. Can you please the share this Auto with me!  I will pay the full fare, only thing you need to do is accompany me till sector-17!”

For me, it was like getting another pizza free of cost only because I have asked them for extra sauce!

I just nodded without saying a single word!

Finally I stepped inside the auto & she followed me the same way. We were hardly seated in an inch gap. I can feel her presence, her aroma, her breaths & her hand moments! It was the first time that I have ever felt like this way. This feeling was different & just wanting Time to pause for a lifetime; But Auto was pacing on maximum speed as there was hardly traffic during that time.

I didn’t dare to speak a single word. Her presence was making me numb; I was just adding ever single second to my permanent memory database for the future.  That was time, I won’t forget.  There was sharp silence in auto apart from the romantic engine sound coming from it. Yes, even that engine sound seemed  romantic at that time.

Finally, she broke out the silence I am Ayesha!

I am Ajay with stammering sound! (I don’t know why the hell I can’t control my voice, when I needed it most)

Ayesha- so, the girl didn’t agreed to your proposal on this very romantic propose day! At least, your zoomed face telling me the same.

I didn’t speak a word but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to. Before I could answer, She continued further & I thought better not to interrupt the delicious voice.

Ayesha- chill Ajay, Acc. To current census there are 15 million girls   out there from our age group in India.  It shouldn’t annoy you, when you got rejected by one of those 15 million girls. You still have chance left on rest of it.

I was smiling not for her’s move of convincing me of the thing, that I didn’t believed in. But for the reason she was talking to me. She had just added 73 beautiful words that were coming from her lips, a beautiful voice. Her moment of lips reminds me of best fantasy girl, that I ever thought !

Soon, I started the deceleration from Auto; it was sector-17, which we both need to step out. But I decided not to leave the auto.

Finally, Auto has come to rest position, Ayesha stepped out & gave 100 INR to auto-driver & asked him to take me further & adjust the remaining amount in the fare.

Ayesha- Thank you!  For allowing me sit beside you, making me comfortable & accompanying me safely.
                Take care!!

               

Me- (with all the courage, that I had ; I only managed to say couple of words)

     I hadn’t proposed her yet!
 

She smiled, wished me good luck!

How prettier it looks, when target itself is wishing you good luck!

Finally she left this way!

Alas, I could bribe rest of my life to GOD, for giving me this half an hour again! I didn’t regret the moment that she isn’t with me anymore! It’s time cherish my whole life that she was with me for half an hour!