The Moment, When Past hits you Back!

Really don’t know either we live for some happy moments or moments are making life happier!

Life is all about moments, Some are happy while some are bad , some are remembered for forever while some meant to be forgotten, Some moments we are proud of while some we always regret.

But there are some moments in your life which are very special , Untold & stored into permanent storage of your heart not because of you experienced incredible thing but because of the special feeling of  those moments being spent with the one you care about, the one you love, the one whom you never ever forget irrespective wherever you go.

Moments create Memories & Memories of a person who is no more into your life makes your life a bit tougher to live with those memories in your mind. And as of now there isn’t any mechanism to erase all the past memories. Chances are high that you may hit any of those memories in your present & they may drag you to your past which you once lived cheerfully at that time but now you want it to get buried there in grave of time.

Thoughts travel faster than light; I went to mall for buying a wrist watch, supposedly a gift to me from my side which was pending since my last birthday. During that time I was choosing a watch from me, I came across women section of watches just to have glance what there in trend. There was plenty of new design, different vibrant colors & amazingly fashionable watches. From all that watches, my eyes got to stick to one watch which was third from the left from upper second row of his display counter. Watch having Silver toned dial having circular base & crystal embellishments near the dial & has fixed stone inside it. It was exactly the same watch which Ayesha used to wear; I always used to admire her watch whenever we used to meet. Thoughts of her were the only thing my mind could think of at that time.

Although we haven’t met for close to 4 years but a tiny second glance over that watch drove me to whole of my past in few seconds.  I was into memories of past where holding her hand was a habit, listening to her was addiction & thinking about her was like one of life supporting function.  But I forget one important thing said by Einstein, “Change is the only Constant thing in the world.” Same happens, we did change a lot: physically, mentally & off course emotionally. Now we don’t share emotions as we used to do. We don’t talk as we used to.

Time flew; we came to different cities, doing different things differently. Probably she must be having another guy in her life adding up new memories to her life with her special moments.

Many thoughts were juggling up in my mind that point of time, which was stopped by the distraction of the annoying sound made by someone else cell phone!

I smiled at my destiny & believed in Luck saying that, “It’s not the right time to buy a watch” & stepped out the shop to live my same monotonous life again which I am living for past four years.

P.S = Something didn’t go the way we want to & somethings are bound to get wrong irrespective of what you do. But it’s not where we stop & cry. It’s the time we should keep going & try until we get what we deserve.

Apology Accepted: Chapter Closed

Almost after 2 years, she felt that she did wrong & apologized for the same. Does this Apology will have made any difference between us?

It’s been four months; I am talking to her after the long gap of eighteen months which I dont myself know what exactly went wrong between us at that point of time.  Although we always try to avoid talking about past always but yesterday was different. 

During these four months, I hardly had ten conversations with her over facebook that too normal, the way I talk to any other facebook friend, we talk about what she is doing with her life, about her job in new city. In the course of talking over few months, I had realized that we both kind of moved on from each other. We are emotionally stable now & I should say bit emotionally mature, and are living a comfortable single life without being liable & bounded to tell each other everything  we came across as we used to do earlier. I think, it is good for both of us to start a new chapter of life in new cities as we both are in different cities.

But still something inside me, there was some pages of past which were unwritten &  finding an answer since then. I don’t say they got their answer but I think they find their reason to remain *BLANK*

Between Me & Ayesha, story started long back in 2010 when we were in our graduation, when we only have mission just to clear the semester exams & have vision to have end with first class degree. We both completed our mission & vision but in between the process of achieving targets somewhere, our story lost their vision of living together. As graduation end came, it came along with end of our story. It was like she came into my life with time bound offer which I failed to realize in the beginning. Graduation Marksheet came & giving me smiling sarcasm for what I did to her (I could have studied more). But this love story didn’t give me any of the scorecards as it ended abruptly. Now after 2 years, i got the Apology scorecard, I was confused what to do it with it.

Late Apology is like giving water to crops when they are already been wasted due to scarcity of resources. But in her case, I thought its better for me accept that as it will help me to live my life more comfortably without being finding the reason what went wrong.

I don’t  know whether this late Apology of her make sense in general or not but yes  this Apology definitely make sense what happened between us in the past . I don’t know what this Apology gonna make any change between us. But it will help me to close all the previous chapters which were linked to her.

Thank you for Apology!

P.S = Again you are the inspiration for this Blogpost. 

A Letter to Leo from Libra

Dear Leo

As Leo People always tries to find something good in every situation, so I hope this letter from Libra would definitely makes your day good, A day which comes only once in a year.

As I don’t know her name yet, I only knew her that tomorrow is her birthday as she talking over phone to someone about her birthday so I guess, her zodiac is Leo.

So this is my gift to that Leo gal, whom I might never gonna see her again in my remaining life.

A tall & ambitious gal, looks like what exactly a perfect gal should look like as she was wearing a Black Dress, a complete perfect mixture elegancy & beauty.

Then I saw her entering into Mango Store; probably she was looking for her Birthday Dress.  At that time, my stars were lucky enough as there weren’t any other customer apart from her, so even I entered the store pretending I want to shop something from there.

A pretty gal & Normal Me, along with few salesman and huge number of princess kind of dresses which even can make anyone look pretty. So, I took charge as I don’t wanna  get cursed by my future that I didn’t  even make effort for to talk.

I approached her, said,”Happy Birthday!”

She gave a confused look, and just responded “Thanks, but its tomorrow”

I Responded, “I can’t wait for next 24 hours to wish a special Leo gal to wish her special birthday whom I might I don’t find tomorrow.”

She Nodded & smiled!

Her smile makes my time to stop for few seconds,makes my mind numb & gave a memory that will come along with me in my grave. Then my destiny came to picture & it overpowered my dwindling luck, when she said, “I gotta go.”

Her smile makes me realize that there Few Things which money can’t buy & Life is worth if you have someone special whose smile is important to you more than anything else. Although I might never gonna see her again, I might never gonna know her name but one thing I am sure of her memory gonna stay with me forever.

Happy Birthday to Best Looking Leo gal, May you get whatever you want.

Regards
Libra

Finally I did message after 18 months

Yesterday wasn’t a simple day for sure; it was quite anonymous day for me which came up with different Sun, trying to burn my hidden secrets  which I never want to get noticed.

Like any other night, I did sleep but it wasn’t a sleep of night it was a sleep of questions! Many questions were popping into my mind! Yes, It was about her, yes it was about the good morning gal Ayesha! 

Although it’s been 18 months that I have woke up daily only with blank screen of mobile. But still some part inside me still expects a message ,which is beyond my control.

These 18 months were different at least for me, one good thing happened that I met myself, the person to whom I was hiding since many years. There used to be times where every sunshine made me feel that she is near, But time has really changed, now I had some fears.

Time has changed so fast, I came to Hyderabad just to be occupied by my work but one thing that didn’t left me alone every single day   was memories of past to whom I wanna escape.

So yesterday with all the courage I messaged to her over facebook….

“Helllllllllozzzzzz Ayesha……..

Howz you

Without expectation of reply, I am messaging because I really wanna talk!
Yes I am being selfish here, I wanna talk & here I am on your Fb wall nd messaging you”

I did this message to gal who used to lives few miles away. But unfortunately message went 959 miles away from it where she is living now. Yes she had moved to different city. It made me nerveless for many seconds but my numb mind still pretends its fine! But it wasn’t at that time!

Sometime people are really far away that no technology made you connect to them. It was just few months back when I used to know what breakfast they had eaten & now they are too far to be asked anything.

She did reply to every single message from a new city but with a same tone that made me forced to dig our past again.

I really don’t know is it a start of other painful journey or is it gonna cure previous sins. I want it to be normal.

Again it’s my destiny which is overpowering my dwindling luck, making me amuse what is going to happen!

One thing was different today, this time her messages come up with emotions which wants to say something aloud which I failed to hear.It felt that her messages are hiding something. As she was in hurry so asked me come up next time, will there be a next time or it was just the illusion !

“Living Life is such a tricky game that makes you clean bowled even when you are enjoying at pavilion”

“Kuch  Rattein ban jattein hain khaas

Jis din hoo jaye tumse baat karne ka ehsas

Teri batton ka to mujhe hain kch aisa nasha
jo naa hoo to , ab zindgi lagti mujhe sazaa..”

I had so many things to tell her but from where to start…………………………..or better I should stop!

People call it CLUB, I call it FAMILY

Hey Blogdosts

I know, It’s been a huge time since I last posted a blog, but IBS Hyderabad doesn’t really give me time to pursue it anymore, or should I say, I was never felt about writing since I landed in the City of Nizam.

Life in MBA is like being SUN & MOON at the same time, it doesn’t give you time even to pee, still being a lazy brat I had managed somehow to live here.  Before I joined here, I don’t have any idea what  really I want to do with my remaining fifty years of life, But one thing I was really sure of that, I do born with DNA of capital market. I really don’t know whether I am really good in it or not but when rest of children were watching Cartoon Network, I was forced to sit in front of CNBC by my father because he wants to see it. Although I never understood what they blabbered in English during that of point of time but it was always discussion of night during my childhood.

Somehow during that time, if market rallies, we could really demand of Ice-creams & if market falls, it was dinner is only thing we can expect. So I brought up with only knowledge, on which day I along with siblings can ask for Ice creams.

Being an IBS student isn’t really luxury but being a part of Virddhi is really something special. Here I found people whose DNA also contains capital Market. So, in biological terms, if your DNA matches with some other, you are family.

So, it’s my new family now called Virddhi family, here I get know it’s not only about asking Ice creams in the night. It’s really something different from it. 

Words will be crime to describe my new family.  But today I had learnt one thing from one of the brightest member of family Saurabh Prabhu , “ In kalyag, Everything things needs to have a face value” . Probably advice of his I am gonna carry for lifelong & writing all this for every member of it.

So, let me introduce you all with few members of family. Let me start with Existing Senior people of the family

Subrat Sahoo
Zero Day Placement, JPMC.  What else you need to know. This is the kind of person you always want to be, 9+ pointers, Plays cricket, True Vriddhite. Even he had of hobby of calling juniors in the night discussing Philosophical matter with them . Every investor fails to interpret the momentum of his stock & even shock to see huge rally in him always every moment.

Ashwin

Probably a value stock of Virddhi, kind of knowledge he has, sometime forced me to think he must know all these things from his last birth. Calm Personality, a person doesn’t believe in knowledge sharing, he is kind of person, who makes you gather all the knowledge on your own without even letting you know. I still confuse how he does that.  Salute for making me work on Inflation & Abenomics, which I easily could get it from you.

Abhishek Shah                          

Another JPMC placed personality, a person from different planet. A kind of stock which no one could ever predict the move he makes. He is a Time Machine of Virddhi, which accurately predict the price levels of stocks. Chilled out person of club, handles everything like cake-walk.


The list continues with

Ankit

its only person which I found it overqualified for this place. He should be somewhere in RBI. Knowledge, the person has about monetary policies, No one can beat that person for sure & the confidence his key to success. Whether it’s Derivatives or Currency, his analysis matters a lot. Another Best quality of that person is, he can leave any meeting in between without letting any other know.


There are many great names in the list & everything has something special about them, Shreya ( Negative Day Placement), Mohit ( A live Fundamental Analyst),  Anurag Mantri ( Technical Expert), Sahil ( Marketing can’t be done without you), varhsa( ICRA girl),Mithun ( just one word Stock Expert)

List continues……………..

Now coming to juniors (Small cap Today, Blue chips  Tomorrow)

Saurabh Prabhu
A mumbaikar guy, for whom analyzing the stock is as easy as changing clothes for us. I don’t know his Mantra & but People call it ‘Extra Power’. Above all, what I think ,He is genuine stock which has given consistent returns in the past.  And I will admire your words whatever you said to me today & tries to improvise that & also your advice matters me & keep throwing it.


VR_Rajeev
 He is an Eagle eye of virddhi, the way he looks the stock or sector , no one can imagine that. Please help us in that BRO.  A real Virddhite is another adjective for him.

Sristhi

A Homely gal, some people even call it ‘’DIDI’’, a good singer, who loves to get clicked & off course I will not write that you like food the most.  It’s only gal, to whom we can say ECONOMICS runs into your Blood.

Gaurav

He is best stock-picker, we can ever have!  I don’t know how you do that but dude I really admire your art & gives due importance to every stock, Whether it’s Aurobindo pharma or SREI infra or any other!

Pulkit

Emotional character of family & is best in handling everything so smoothly no one even can think of.  Hard work is really not a word for him, off course he just do something more than that.


Even here also list continues

Pooja ( who always remind me to speak slow), Gattu ( a true friend & die hard virddhite), Sunay ( Charming Boy of club), Drishika ( people call it Daru), Ankur ( Ajanta pharma zindabad) ,Anumeha ( Two-club girl), Anurag ( Hard Worker), Vignesh ( 9 pointer) , Trisha ( A multi bagger  talent), Neha ( Expert's Advice) , Vishesh ( Admire your listening skills), Vishnu( please Don’t speak Hindi in front of any gal), Prince ( Macro- stock) ,Nitish (Talented person), Laksh ( Chilled person of club), Nivetha ( Multi talented),Aditya ( Dedication is the word for you)

Shubham
A person who really read this script in midnight & encourage me post it & also make me realize I does lot  of grammatical errors while writing. Thanks for that! Thums up!

As this script already crossed 1000 words, I wanna end up saying that For anyone to whom Vriddhi matters, matters me a lot!

Hyderabad: A Crowded Paradise

It’s been sixteen days that I have successively passed in the city, which is 1100 miles away from my home land.

For you it might be just sixteen revolution of earth around the sun, but for me it’s like I have born 16^th time, every time with new desire, new challenges & with some new pretty faces. I haven’t thought of such thing that gonna happen to me but now it’s like I belong to Hyderabad now. It’s like every day we born for different purpose here.

It was my first visit to the “city of nawabs” & now I am attached to it. Here I have felt that 24hrs is too short to live a whole day. You have so much to do; parties’ with new friends, attending classes, photography, playing badminton, enjoying movies and list goes on. Here you have to cut short your sleep in order to live a lively life every day.

It’s was all about Hyderabad, but it’s not the reason I am writing this blog & thing which forces me to write is my PAST.

29^TH JUNE, 2013

I was having moment of my life, after class parties, hanging out with my friends & coming late at nights. But that day was different, I was putting some important dossiers back to my bag , then I found some torn papers , firstly appeared like some bills , which make curious what I have bought so preciously that I have put it my bag for so long. So I carefully handled the torn the paper & tries to analyze what it is!!

CRAP!
FUCK!

It was two movie tickets of Cineplex in Gurgaon, dated 4^th march. Everything was going just fine into my life until I analyzed the torn papers, which I might not know what they are doing inside.  For anyone, it could be movie tickets but it really shocked my life for a second & these two tickets showed me the landscape view of what had happened with me on 4^th march (a day that can’t erased from my memory) in a second. I was silent, not aware of what to do, just glaring the walls continuously & aimlessly.

I was amazed by full stop given by life in the middle of so called none less than perfect life that I always dreamt of living. Those two tickets have no worth to anyone, but it still had enough force to drag me to my past which I was forgotten. It reminds me of person who never forgets to remind me a good morning every sunny day in my past. It was about her.

It was tickets of last movie that we have seen together on our last meeting.

It was like I am standing at the same place at gurgaon, forcing myself to think everything will be all right, believing nothing had happened! But destiny already clean bowled my luck way before I thought. It was just 4^th March that destiny chose to raise the finger to give me directions for going back to pavilion.

It’s almost 4 months that I haven’t seen her and I still haven’t taken my stand on this! I am just avoiding it, will avoid it for forever. I don’t want to accuse her for going way without a reason. Sometime there could be reason too for not giving a reason. Because there is nothing right or wrong happens in life, it happens because it was bound to happen. It was just like we both chose our life against each other. One thing that no one can ever steal is ‘memories’ of all wired things we did together. 

If it was the failed relationship that gave me so much of happiness, imagine what comes along with the real package!!!

Now , coming back to Hyderabad - a life , where no one wanna miss single second to be their life to be a part of it. Will post next blog soon………

Keep Checking…J J

Serendepity

My grey cells have already lost their battle against veins of my heart in coming to the conclusion, Am I really addicted to her or is it just chemical imbalance in my mind!

February 8, 2013

Rumors of love were on everyone’s minds! Everyone wants to change their relationship status before 14^th February. Being a non-believer of love & hatred of relationship, I was accompanying my friend who recently had broke up on that day. I dunno know what I was doing there, but friends always used to call me whenever they had broken up with their current girl friends.

He was crying & begging her to come back into her life over phone.

I was just wondering, Today is just a same day like rest of the year while some of the people are busy with their girlfriends &  some of them are crying for their girl-friends. And I was enjoying free VODKA shots in gurgaon.

Rohit- Why does she do this to me? I would do anything to be with her again! Tell me Ajay, WHY?

Me- (With same set of break-up dialogues)

        Look Rohit, Everything happens for the purpose of good! Don’t think it as Break-up, Take it as a     lesson.  Even Divya was not the right girl for you my friend. There must be some good fortune of your’s that she isn’t more to ruin your remaining life. May be it’s time for new girl to enter your life.

Rohit- Hmmm (with a sip of vodka…)

Me- And have you ever look at her butt carefully, seems like flat watermelon even without the partition!

  (We both giggles & Finally Divya’s story was coming to end slowly , to distract his attention , I shifted the topic )

Me- why don’t you try on Pooja, even she is interesting in you. Chances are higher, Might be you could get your new girl friend by valentine.

Rohit- Misson Pooja!!!  Pooja going to be my next girlfriend!

She was already into my priority list in case I have ever lost my interest in Divya ever in future. But I can’t be with Divya anymore. It’s the right time to strike the iron.

Me- Ok bro, I think I should leave! 

Rohit- Thanks for Today!

Me- Thanks for the VODKA!  If you gonna offer me Vodka every time you had a break-up! , I would wish you do have it every Sunday.

Rohit- fuck off!

Finally we stepped out of the bar. He straight went to his BMW.               He dropped me to MG road; from there I can get easily Auto-rickshaw.

It was 11 pm & I was at MG road waiting for an appropriate costing Auto-rickshaw. I had already refused to 10 auto-rickshaws because they were out of my limited budget of 50 rupee note in my pocket.

Finally, I found an auto that would drop me to Sector-17 in exactly in my budget.  As I was stepping inside the Auto, I heard the very delicious voice.

Can we share this Auto?

A mesmerizing voice was coming from the back; I turned back just to check out the source of sound!

There was simply awesome fair girl with I-phone in the hand was standing beside me!

I can still recall the charm, she was wearing that day. It might be because of her over-branding clothes & the premium accessories but she had the persona that I never felt before!

Words would be the crime, if I describe the beauty. She is the best looking girl that I have ever seen till now.

She came closer to me & said –“Actually, my car has broken down & it’s not safe to travel for me alone. Can you please the share this Auto with me!  I will pay the full fare, only thing you need to do is accompany me till sector-17!”

For me, it was like getting another pizza free of cost only because I have asked them for extra sauce!

I just nodded without saying a single word!

Finally I stepped inside the auto & she followed me the same way. We were hardly seated in an inch gap. I can feel her presence, her aroma, her breaths & her hand moments! It was the first time that I have ever felt like this way. This feeling was different & just wanting Time to pause for a lifetime; But Auto was pacing on maximum speed as there was hardly traffic during that time.

I didn’t dare to speak a single word. Her presence was making me numb; I was just adding ever single second to my permanent memory database for the future.  That was time, I won’t forget.  There was sharp silence in auto apart from the romantic engine sound coming from it. Yes, even that engine sound seemed  romantic at that time.

Finally, she broke out the silence I am Ayesha!

I am Ajay with stammering sound! (I don’t know why the hell I can’t control my voice, when I needed it most)

Ayesha- so, the girl didn’t agreed to your proposal on this very romantic propose day! At least, your zoomed face telling me the same.

I didn’t speak a word but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to. Before I could answer, She continued further & I thought better not to interrupt the delicious voice.

Ayesha- chill Ajay, Acc. To current census there are 15 million girls   out there from our age group in India.  It shouldn’t annoy you, when you got rejected by one of those 15 million girls. You still have chance left on rest of it.

I was smiling not for her’s move of convincing me of the thing, that I didn’t believed in. But for the reason she was talking to me. She had just added 73 beautiful words that were coming from her lips, a beautiful voice. Her moment of lips reminds me of best fantasy girl, that I ever thought !

Soon, I started the deceleration from Auto; it was sector-17, which we both need to step out. But I decided not to leave the auto.

Finally, Auto has come to rest position, Ayesha stepped out & gave 100 INR to auto-driver & asked him to take me further & adjust the remaining amount in the fare.

Ayesha- Thank you!  For allowing me sit beside you, making me comfortable & accompanying me safely.
                Take care!!

               

Me- (with all the courage, that I had ; I only managed to say couple of words)

     I hadn’t proposed her yet!
 

She smiled, wished me good luck!

How prettier it looks, when target itself is wishing you good luck!

Finally she left this way!

Alas, I could bribe rest of my life to GOD, for giving me this half an hour again! I didn’t regret the moment that she isn’t with me anymore! It’s time cherish my whole life that she was with me for half an hour!

Gurgaon: Dreams Turned into Reality

Ayesha has re-entered in my life!

Now we are again connected through whatsapp, face book & Twitter! .

After two months of trauma that I had, now even things were trying  back to be normal.

Two things, which are even same as before i.e. first she is listening to me & second I am talking to her over phone every time! Things were changing so fast between us, making me feel more tensed! Doesn't know what gonna happen in future !

It must be mine bad luck that things went pretty wrong before but destiny has shown his light today.

3^rd March, 2013

Finally she invited me to meet in her new city –GURGAON!

Date Decided-4^th March

Time- Maximum time that I can spend (Actually she has taken off from her office)

Location Settled – Confirmed many times!

Plans were reassured as long as we can discuss it over phone!

This was the day I wanted, to pass it quickly!

4^th March, 2013 (Only DAY of my life, whose waiting could be synchronized with suffering)

As clock strikes 12, I was hell excited that Instead of setting an ALARM I put up the COUNTDOWN  TIMER of 5 hrs, because I have to wake up early . Even though countdown time was running, I still checked it in every 5 minutes in order to make sure my mobile shouldn’t run out of battery.

I was awake at sharp 4-55 am, ahead of time schedule!

I didn’t want Luck to interfere with my any of the schedule!  Then I simply put off my Timer!

It was time to get ready & finally I reached the desired location at sharp 10-30!

And it was Time to smile, it was time to cheer, it was time which makes me numb for almost a minute! Finally I saw her with every corner from my eye, she was waiting for me! It was the first time; she did wait for me because earlier it was used to be my task to do so!

She was looking so different today making me feels uncomfortable about my looks!  (How can she do it to me, I was perfect too!)

Finally we entered the movie hall as decided & enjoyed the worst movie of mine till now! But never mind, sometimes it’s a company who makes you to feel good not the movie!

After that great meal, we talked so much that even Sun was changing its direction towards west! I was wondering how much I waited for this special day & why the day is ditching me …by taking the sun away so fast!

Atlast it was time to listen the GOOD BYE from her, but I didn’t responded! And she was gone & leaving me behind into her memories

Memories of today or plans for future …I still couldn’t figure out ………………….

Escapism From love ♥

Welcome to the world of Escapism, Where everyone is escaping, some are escaping from situations while others are wanted to escape from the persons.

Since inception, we always tried to escape from time, fear & lot of unpleasant things. . Every action of our, is just an escape from some other action.

Closing your eyes isn’t going to change anything, Nothing gonna disappear just because you don’t wanna see it. In fact, Things will be even worse the next time you open your eyes. Only a coward closes his eyes thinking he might be able to escape from the problem. Closing your eyes & plugging up your ears won’t make Time either to stand still or pass it quickly.

The best way to escape from a problem is to solve it!!

As the dictionary defines it, “Escapism – Diversion from reality” or can be inferred as doing lot of unpleasant things which gives you distraction from doing pleasant things.

In a usual habit of escaping, even we had also started to escape from the things we like, from the person we want to hang around even from the love!

Everyone needs to escape sometimes, retreating into somebody else life is just as nearly living like a beggar because you don’t wanna be king anymore!!

More than friends but less than lovers ♥

Finally, we entered into the 12^th date of 12^th month of 12^th year of this century. And clock is too showing 12-12 am when I am about to start this post which I myself doesn't know what I am gonna write in it.

11^th December, 2012

The sun was on time & shinning on his usual place. But I was on my couch, fully awaken but pretending to be sleepy under blanket with mobile in hand. I was waiting for her text, a morning wish which become a insulin for my senses to react everyday or I should say reason for me to wake up, my eyes are adamant to start to a day with her text, my ears are deeply waiting for the message tone & my hands are just hoping for the mobile to vibrate as early as possible. Time for to feel alive, message received.

(One message received)

Ayesha – Good Morning :)

Me- Good morning :) :)

I wait for message every day, just to confirm is she ok, is she all right or in short is she is living ♥

This is how I transformed from virtual dreaming to the textual reality daily. This is how I woke up every day.

Although, college is off for preparatory leave for exams. This was the reason I was still on my bed starting a day with shinning sun in the top to the vibration in my mobile phone.

(I know, I am terribly bad shayar, still I do manage have a romantic shayari every morning only for her ♥)

Me- “Ab karte hain naye din ke shuruwaat

         Mil jo gya tere choone ka ehsas

         Aise hee karte rehna tum mere dino ko roshan

        Tere msg ke baad hee aata hai meri aakhon mein motion “

Ayesha-  :) :)

I don’t know what kinda relation it is , but we haven’t named it as love , we haven’t fall into relationships , we haven’t promise to be a part each other’s life for forever. But we do care each other as lovers do, we do have endless talks as lovers do & we can’t stay without each other as lovers.

In short, what I can name it as ‘’More than the best friends but less than lovers.’’   If we are really soul mates then no one can part us in any way. And if we aren’t the ‘one made for each other’, any other guy could steal her from my wildest dreams. So, I dunno wanna pollute such a divine word i.e LOVE ♥. I am one woman man, so just waiting for right time.

It’s again my destiny which is overpowering my dwindling luck, completely blank for next move, now just waiting for what is pre-written in destiny rule book.

Days before love

Hi blogdosts!

Finally I am here again, to ruin your data of fast running internet .Thanks for coming here!

As you are here, so I make you sure, this post must be worth reading!

Before I initiate my post, I wanna fall you in fabricated situation of love, where you like a person & even you are sure of liking from yours partner too. You are hanging around with her, enjoying endless dates, watching movie on corner seats, recharging your mobile accounts in midnights just to say to good night to her, asking endless favors from her & Even you turned into a “Shayar” for her.

In short, you find yourself completely tuned up with her. And then your mind have train of thoughts, asks you numerous questions where avoiding one could be considered as favoritism to other. Is it one whom GOD has sent for you to write your entire life with her or is it one, whom I will forget like any chapter of life.

Then chain of questions, am I too victim of love or am I really enjoying my bachelorhood like others?

Do I really like her or Am I like any other jerk?

Do I really have feelings for her or should I consider myself Stud, which can make any girl to make her around?

Should I stick on that girl or should I wait for another Best girl to be the princess of heart again?

Do I propose her or Wait to let her propose me?

These are the days before love. Where we consider ourselves as “Brainless genes” .And we are unable to take any decision.

This is the story of mine, where I find myself stuck in various things.

Days before love are the best period of life, where you enjoy the same, what other is enjoying being in love with no commitment.If I follow the conventionally theory of love then I must have listen to violin ,sound of love once I saw her but I ant’s enjoying the same.

Now, I must request scientists to invent something like love meter, where anyone can check, how much you love your partner. Even it should be able to check sustainability of it , so that we can check how long will it be carried away!!

Off course, I am living with her but how can anyone say am I living only for her?

I know I am enjoying with her but how anyone can predict my meaning of enjoyment is her?

May be I could consider this thing as love, What if tomorrow it fled away!!

Huh!!
Creating mess in the mind!!

When you are unable to answer some questions , it's better to left it unanswered!!

 Another Attempt to fiction!!!

Memories of Past ♥

How can I forget you,,,

How can I forgive you,,,

How can I make you smile

When you don’t talk to me even for a while

You always promised to walk with me every mile

But you weren’t there even for a smile!!!

I wish I could erase her memories from my mind but till now Almighty GOD hasn’t made any system to do so. A guilt of past which may effect my future!!

Few meetings with her, makes me one who can write about her for rest of my life.

Life has taken sharp turns till now, but still my life hasn’t moved a bit. I am still thinking about her. I am still finding my mistakes which I didn’t do in order to prove her right.

I am still finding the reason, what had happened to us!!  But nothing successful came out.

That’s the story of every young person, who fails in his first love. Even I do have the interesting story. Story of emotions , Story of love & Story of luck.

Newly graduated from school entered college now with new hopes, new desires & with new friends. Haven’t thought even I could fall into prey of love with her eyes, her charisma, her personality, her aura, her looks, her imagination; they always make me feel jittery.

Time never is the same, during that period my heart forays with my mind to prepare a strategy for first talk & finally my heart succeeded & I was ready to talk with physical beauty for the first time after 6 months of colleges had already passed.

I used to visit the cafeteria ,just to enjoy drizzling beauty of her!

So, finally day was decided, venue got the nod by my mind authority checks & was ready with plan for my first move.

Being a non-believer of astrology, numerology & Taro cards, still I have gone though all just in order to confirm that everything was going in right direction or not.

Finally making so much of preparation, taking all the good lucks from near & dear ones, visiting all the temples, gurudwars & churches near by just in order confirm my first victory over my self just for a perfect start of a talk with dazzling beauty.

Finally the day arrived, clock strikes 12 pm looks like even clock is greeting me with ‘NAMASTE’. I never felt so different that day. Reached the desired venue, Cafeteria too packed with charming smiles , Felt like happiness everywhere seems as everyone has already know about my plan & they are here only to cheer me up.

So, took a seat near by & glued my eyes to the entrance. Soon my wait gets over & pink dressed angel arrived. A look towards her makes me forget for what purpose I am here.

She looked very happy ,just promising me that my first talk could be successful. But as it was my story , how GOD can plan it so smoothly!! 

She wasn't alone this time , she was coming  along with another boy not knowing who he was? .Rumours are high ,Boy like my angel ,have a feeling for her. But i didn't pay attention to that .i was focused towards my goal .

They  entered slowly towards the cafeteria , i can watch them from my near by window. once they  stepped inside the hall..Here my destiny comes into act. Suddenly cafeteria went dark only light focusing both of them. Then boy whom i never want to enter my story becomes the antagonist of my story & perposes her ''Will you be my only & forever angel for rest of my life?'' Without thinking for second ,she said ''YES''.As she was
born for that moment only.

 i was stunned , What had happened to me!! How angel of my life  migrated to  become another's angel  

in front of me. Here again , my destiny overcomes my dwindling luck! 

What the F**k ! what the f**K!! what the f**K!!!

 At that tym i came to know , Heart doesn't had feelings , it can't love , it can't think . iT's just a medical organ which supports us to live. 

Love -The sweet illusion ♥ ♥ ♥

Hi Blogdosts!!

Learning comes from an experience & Life is a school in which everyone fails with Dead End. Today what we are, how we behave, kinda personality we have all because of endless experience learning from limited life that we had live till of now. So, no one is God or Devil it’s all because of his past experiences. By the time you end reading it, you will be 3 minutes older from what you are now so I made the best effort to make it worth.

Sometimes life seems completely unpredictable , Firstly we ran for something , wanna achieve that thing so hard such that nothing can comparable to  that need & once we achieved it it has lost it’s value. And the hunt for new lucrative target begins. Our life seems bounded into working for priceless things & then converting into no price.

                                                     

There might be a time in everyone’s life when someone wants you so badly that he doesn’t wanna miss a single second to be with you. He tried every good or bad move, intentionally or unintentionally to be with you. And once he realized that you are part of his life, suddenly he stops bothering you.

In today’s digital world, where becoming a friend is just one click away & it hardly takes 5 seconds to change relationship status.How any one can expect to find true love & Friendship?

Cigarette of Love was burnt in initial centaury  in which love was flew away in smoke leaving behind the ashes of smoke to digital centaury as a proof of it’s existence.

In the world of realistic people where love is chased as an asset and even people will invest their own love asset in you to gain their needs. We the people come as an individual & will go as an individual, trust me even we can lead it as individual.

At last ,I Believe  love is just an illusion , Some of you  might believe or some of you might not .For those who believes love is God…………..jst wanna say…Come out of the ILLUSION.

TEAM ANNA @ Rohtak

IST JULY,2011

 A day which comes with the alarm clock asking us to awake with only half days left of a year. We had successfully completed half year.

Like any other day I was the culprit of Laziness, which doesn’t allow me to awake before 10 am. First words coming to ears were from my mother’s that Team Anna is visiting Rohtak at 2 PM. During peak summer day & peak time of day at 2 PM answer of anyone could be NO.  Who wants to ruin their time in hottest chimney of SUN outhere?

 Now I had made my mind I will attend the Team Anna meet & proudest thing was my mother also expects the same from me. Today no matters what kinda person I was in past & what will be person I will be in future but the thing that matters me most  I was proudest son of my mother at least for today.Second thing I did was forward this information to all of my friends with knowing the fact that hardly any of my friends will come.

2 pm @ meeting spot

 

Finally I was there on time at meeting spot & was moved to see the crowd over there.

Crowd not for the  purpose of entertainment, not for fun but for the nation. People ranging every age group were at common sight with the slogan of ‘VANDE MATARAM’

The scene was beyond my explanation when I saw 6 yr boy along with her sister were protesting along their parents when temperature was encroaching 45 degree Celsius. I felt ashamed where were I till now , where was my nation love till now

, where were my responsibility toward nation till now?

 

I saw the people of over sixty years of age , some of them I recognized Rich enough to live their remaining time in corruption-stricken India , still came here for a nation .  I witnessed the females having Indian flag in hand & vande mataram to lips.What a touching scene it was !!

Finally there was announcement, Arvind kejriwal could be here in no time. Arvind kejriwal ,ex-income tax officer  if wants who could lived his live comfortably with a high paid job  . A income tax officer can earn much enough even for his coming generation. But still he chose to fight for us , fight for nation .He is doing such efforts for us, left his job, left his home, ready to die for a country and Can’t we show our support to him ?

 

Finally he was there , to saw him, feel the presence of  him were a extraordinary feeling in itself. After entry of Arvind kejriwal , crowd was in motion again . only words which can heard at that time were “ Anna g snagarsh karo , Hum tumhare saath hain “

Full patriotic feeling among everyone, and to witness a crowd where no one is thinking about their money, their lives , their relatives only Nation was the priority was something i could never felt till now.

Then I  heard the thoughts of Arvind kejriwal along with  only my not expecting friend,one who came there .

The things said by Arvind  entered everyone’s heart. And he asked Rohtak’s people to come in numbers on 25^th july at jantar mantar to show support against Government, against corruption, against govt. Lokpall bill.

Today,  Day itself forces me think what I have done for my country ?

My motive to write this was only to make you think….

WHAT YOU HAVE DONE FOR YOUR COUNTRY ?

LIFE : full of Emotion$

After so much of laziness, finally I came out from It wanna write something, still confused what to write in that ‘something’. In past a month, I came accross approximate every mood of life. Starting from Tension of exams, Pressure for interview for internship, Happiness for coming into finally ‘FINAL’ year of graduation and the thing which annoys me the most is ‘FRIENDSHIP’ from someone who even doesn’t know meaning of it & considered it to hypothetical term, HUH!!!  She could be the perfect example to one of the perfect quote “EVERYONE DOESN’T DESERVE YOUR FRIENDSHIP “

The day 12^th June, on which I have successfully submitted my last exam papers & officially confirmed my entry in final year of my engineering. The happiness doesn’t end last even for a day; because next day I came to know I have a interview for my 6 weeks internship. So for this I have to prepare CV. Somehow I managed to make it with the help of GOOGLE. I checked it thrice, if it needs any editions or not. Finally the day has arrived; I took a printout of it & scanned again for any correction needed. It was looking perfect. Finally I was waiting for my turn, then person came in to asks my come in the room for the purpose for same. Then I stood up from couch & followed him with a file in my hand having perfect CV. Here destiny came into play, overpowered my dwindling Luck. I noticed TWO big mistakes in front page. One was wrong spelling, and other was wrong abbreviation.

I thought why I didn’t notice in the past. Second thing which concerned me the most why it gets noticed now when I was about to take the interview. The interview lasts for 20 minutes & went fine. Even they didn’t notice my mistake in CV. Result of interview is still awaited.

Now coming to annoying mood of that period, reason is off course her .Friendship is that precious stone, which isn’t everyone’s fate. I have pity on her for not having it & considered it to false thing. Friendship is everything in that something that can’t be described. It makes your every moment just worth living it. Today I realized one thing, instead of realizing I should say I have learnt a lesson for a life time that never lower you’re standard to have somebody’s friendship. It will always ditch you in the end.

Finally it’s over with her. HUH!! Relaxed….

Thank God for saving from such torture!!

Life BACK to normal ………………..

one, 2 ,THREE.....

Sometime i feel like , my whole childhood completed with in a count on one, 2 , THREE...


hey blog friends!


Everything has a past , a past since its inception & future till GOD's desire.



Till now , most of us had lived one third of its life or about to complete it. In those past years, we came across numerous events, some of  which we never wanna recall or some of which we never wanna forget. Everything is past now.
A past which we gonna live again , a past which we gonna enjoy again . In this past ,we had missed so many things to get some few things ,which no one is sure about that we will get it or not.

In childhood, we had plans of becoming actor,cricketer, pilot, teacher & IAS and we just end up our childhood in   just becoming a student. A student which only knows how to study .

Just give a look at your long elasted childhood which has passed into few seconds.Time has wings of thoughts. Everything is past now. Nothing can come back to your hands Still memories can fly you there.

Most of us will not be contend with their present. we can't ever satisfied with present conditions and we  
were never satisfied by the past too, still we recall our past. No matter what the days are,what the situation is we gonna miss it in the end.

For us most of us Past gives smile & future gives tension. In the fight of smile & tension we had lost our present.  Never think of your future as in the end when your future becomes your past then also it will give you ray of smile.

You will look back on the times you laughed and you will cry. You will look back on the times you cried, and you will laugh. You will always remember close friends, and you will always keep memories of them in your heart. Life is hard, it’s tough, and it’s unfair, but everyone gets over the hurt and the pain, eventually. You always end up with a smile on your face, if you give it a chance. ♥

Reality of Relations!!

Hii blogdosts!

Paper  is man’s only best friend, you can write anything to it. It never asks you the reason & it never ditches anyone.

In the awakening of becoming rich, we had eliminated the word ‘RELATIONS’ from our dictionary. In fast moving economy relation synchronizes itself to the money, profit & self-motives.

Usually people change after the tasting the wine of success but they don’t know or I should say they don’t wanna realize that Wine doesn’t last for forever. Even I was one of those realized the truth behind every relation when she got a little success. Why she changed to me….STILL waiting for the explanation from her.

This episode is over now & will definitely explain in detail in later posts. Moreover life is learning process, now I had learnt one thing “EVERY RELATION FUCKS YOU IN THE END”

Yesterday: Another simple day with twinkling effects*

A day which jumped too early for me like any other day  at sharp 12:00 AM, when most of the human genes are dreaming on their respective couches while some are hardly employing on their dreams for the production of new genes. Here my destiny crosses all the limits of bounded luck which asks my phone to BEEP…, yes it was a message of APPROVAL. Finally I was meeting her almost after half decade & I was ready with her vague look & dwindling appearance in my mind & having many questions. How does she look, will she be same girl who used to so calm, innocent & generous. What happens if she has changed herself into typical egotist Delhi girl?

No matter, what it will be...the thing which seems to important to me & concerning me finally I will meet her, may be for the last time for the rest of the life…

Always in case of girl, something on yours side may not be same on another side too……..

A meeting for me was seems rumor to her, It was just like she will accompany me for the way coming back to home or I will accompany her. I don’t know what exactly it is?

My next move was to synchronize my fast moving time with her, just quickly go through GOOGLE MAP! & found the shortest route possible from my side to hers. Finally, we decided the time & venue.

So, it was total 90 min journey, for her accompany was the motive & mine task was meeting.

A day which flew in enumerable hours finally reached on time where I met her 30 minutes prior to the schedule at Pratap nagar, metro station. She was looking as simple as anyone can but still no one wants to miss charm she wears. I was about to ask which cream she used in last 5 years as she looks exactly the same when I last saw her, yet I avoided. Her looks made me forgot how badly I screwed up in first ever MOCK CAT of my life in the morning.ohh!! Actually that was reason I have come to Delhi for my Test. This time destiny was on a task to prove my luck wrong again that I can good at guessing the answers.

My whole tension was just flushed now she was LADY OF ATTENTION.

So she was coming by side with a heavy looking bag, I asked her to give me the bag but she denied & I said to my self ‘THANKS GOD from avoiding the burden of unidentified objects’.

And how I can forgot to give thanks INDIAN RAILWAYS for the incredible contribution towards my meeting, which stretched 90 min journey to over a 120 min. Finally talks initiated once we inside the Train from past to present. I don’t know what I have spoken at that time but I enjoyed enormously.

Today, I also  met with MISS Microsoft, which will be remain in the memory for always & remain as inspiring figure for future.Definetly gonna post  experience soon after confirming  female protagonist!