Serendepity

My grey cells have already lost their battle against veins of my heart in coming to the conclusion, Am I really addicted to her or is it just chemical imbalance in my mind!

February 8, 2013

Rumors of love were on everyone’s minds! Everyone wants to change their relationship status before 14^th February. Being a non-believer of love & hatred of relationship, I was accompanying my friend who recently had broke up on that day. I dunno know what I was doing there, but friends always used to call me whenever they had broken up with their current girl friends.

He was crying & begging her to come back into her life over phone.

I was just wondering, Today is just a same day like rest of the year while some of the people are busy with their girlfriends &  some of them are crying for their girl-friends. And I was enjoying free VODKA shots in gurgaon.

Rohit- Why does she do this to me? I would do anything to be with her again! Tell me Ajay, WHY?

Me- (With same set of break-up dialogues)

        Look Rohit, Everything happens for the purpose of good! Don’t think it as Break-up, Take it as a     lesson.  Even Divya was not the right girl for you my friend. There must be some good fortune of your’s that she isn’t more to ruin your remaining life. May be it’s time for new girl to enter your life.

Rohit- Hmmm (with a sip of vodka…)

Me- And have you ever look at her butt carefully, seems like flat watermelon even without the partition!

  (We both giggles & Finally Divya’s story was coming to end slowly , to distract his attention , I shifted the topic )

Me- why don’t you try on Pooja, even she is interesting in you. Chances are higher, Might be you could get your new girl friend by valentine.

Rohit- Misson Pooja!!!  Pooja going to be my next girlfriend!

She was already into my priority list in case I have ever lost my interest in Divya ever in future. But I can’t be with Divya anymore. It’s the right time to strike the iron.

Me- Ok bro, I think I should leave! 

Rohit- Thanks for Today!

Me- Thanks for the VODKA!  If you gonna offer me Vodka every time you had a break-up! , I would wish you do have it every Sunday.

Rohit- fuck off!

Finally we stepped out of the bar. He straight went to his BMW.               He dropped me to MG road; from there I can get easily Auto-rickshaw.

It was 11 pm & I was at MG road waiting for an appropriate costing Auto-rickshaw. I had already refused to 10 auto-rickshaws because they were out of my limited budget of 50 rupee note in my pocket.

Finally, I found an auto that would drop me to Sector-17 in exactly in my budget.  As I was stepping inside the Auto, I heard the very delicious voice.

Can we share this Auto?

A mesmerizing voice was coming from the back; I turned back just to check out the source of sound!

There was simply awesome fair girl with I-phone in the hand was standing beside me!

I can still recall the charm, she was wearing that day. It might be because of her over-branding clothes & the premium accessories but she had the persona that I never felt before!

Words would be the crime, if I describe the beauty. She is the best looking girl that I have ever seen till now.

She came closer to me & said –“Actually, my car has broken down & it’s not safe to travel for me alone. Can you please the share this Auto with me!  I will pay the full fare, only thing you need to do is accompany me till sector-17!”

For me, it was like getting another pizza free of cost only because I have asked them for extra sauce!

I just nodded without saying a single word!

Finally I stepped inside the auto & she followed me the same way. We were hardly seated in an inch gap. I can feel her presence, her aroma, her breaths & her hand moments! It was the first time that I have ever felt like this way. This feeling was different & just wanting Time to pause for a lifetime; But Auto was pacing on maximum speed as there was hardly traffic during that time.

I didn’t dare to speak a single word. Her presence was making me numb; I was just adding ever single second to my permanent memory database for the future.  That was time, I won’t forget.  There was sharp silence in auto apart from the romantic engine sound coming from it. Yes, even that engine sound seemed  romantic at that time.

Finally, she broke out the silence I am Ayesha!

I am Ajay with stammering sound! (I don’t know why the hell I can’t control my voice, when I needed it most)

Ayesha- so, the girl didn’t agreed to your proposal on this very romantic propose day! At least, your zoomed face telling me the same.

I didn’t speak a word but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to. Before I could answer, She continued further & I thought better not to interrupt the delicious voice.

Ayesha- chill Ajay, Acc. To current census there are 15 million girls   out there from our age group in India.  It shouldn’t annoy you, when you got rejected by one of those 15 million girls. You still have chance left on rest of it.

I was smiling not for her’s move of convincing me of the thing, that I didn’t believed in. But for the reason she was talking to me. She had just added 73 beautiful words that were coming from her lips, a beautiful voice. Her moment of lips reminds me of best fantasy girl, that I ever thought !

Soon, I started the deceleration from Auto; it was sector-17, which we both need to step out. But I decided not to leave the auto.

Finally, Auto has come to rest position, Ayesha stepped out & gave 100 INR to auto-driver & asked him to take me further & adjust the remaining amount in the fare.

Ayesha- Thank you!  For allowing me sit beside you, making me comfortable & accompanying me safely.
                Take care!!

               

Me- (with all the courage, that I had ; I only managed to say couple of words)

     I hadn’t proposed her yet!
 

She smiled, wished me good luck!

How prettier it looks, when target itself is wishing you good luck!

Finally she left this way!

Alas, I could bribe rest of my life to GOD, for giving me this half an hour again! I didn’t regret the moment that she isn’t with me anymore! It’s time cherish my whole life that she was with me for half an hour!

Gurgaon: Dreams Turned into Reality

Ayesha has re-entered in my life!

Now we are again connected through whatsapp, face book & Twitter! .

After two months of trauma that I had, now even things were trying  back to be normal.

Two things, which are even same as before i.e. first she is listening to me & second I am talking to her over phone every time! Things were changing so fast between us, making me feel more tensed! Doesn't know what gonna happen in future !

It must be mine bad luck that things went pretty wrong before but destiny has shown his light today.

3^rd March, 2013

Finally she invited me to meet in her new city –GURGAON!

Date Decided-4^th March

Time- Maximum time that I can spend (Actually she has taken off from her office)

Location Settled – Confirmed many times!

Plans were reassured as long as we can discuss it over phone!

This was the day I wanted, to pass it quickly!

4^th March, 2013 (Only DAY of my life, whose waiting could be synchronized with suffering)

As clock strikes 12, I was hell excited that Instead of setting an ALARM I put up the COUNTDOWN  TIMER of 5 hrs, because I have to wake up early . Even though countdown time was running, I still checked it in every 5 minutes in order to make sure my mobile shouldn’t run out of battery.

I was awake at sharp 4-55 am, ahead of time schedule!

I didn’t want Luck to interfere with my any of the schedule!  Then I simply put off my Timer!

It was time to get ready & finally I reached the desired location at sharp 10-30!

And it was Time to smile, it was time to cheer, it was time which makes me numb for almost a minute! Finally I saw her with every corner from my eye, she was waiting for me! It was the first time; she did wait for me because earlier it was used to be my task to do so!

She was looking so different today making me feels uncomfortable about my looks!  (How can she do it to me, I was perfect too!)

Finally we entered the movie hall as decided & enjoyed the worst movie of mine till now! But never mind, sometimes it’s a company who makes you to feel good not the movie!

After that great meal, we talked so much that even Sun was changing its direction towards west! I was wondering how much I waited for this special day & why the day is ditching me …by taking the sun away so fast!

Atlast it was time to listen the GOOD BYE from her, but I didn’t responded! And she was gone & leaving me behind into her memories

Memories of today or plans for future …I still couldn’t figure out ………………….

Escapism From love ♥

Welcome to the world of Escapism, Where everyone is escaping, some are escaping from situations while others are wanted to escape from the persons.

Since inception, we always tried to escape from time, fear & lot of unpleasant things. . Every action of our, is just an escape from some other action.

Closing your eyes isn’t going to change anything, Nothing gonna disappear just because you don’t wanna see it. In fact, Things will be even worse the next time you open your eyes. Only a coward closes his eyes thinking he might be able to escape from the problem. Closing your eyes & plugging up your ears won’t make Time either to stand still or pass it quickly.

The best way to escape from a problem is to solve it!!

As the dictionary defines it, “Escapism – Diversion from reality” or can be inferred as doing lot of unpleasant things which gives you distraction from doing pleasant things.

In a usual habit of escaping, even we had also started to escape from the things we like, from the person we want to hang around even from the love!

Everyone needs to escape sometimes, retreating into somebody else life is just as nearly living like a beggar because you don’t wanna be king anymore!!

More than friends but less than lovers ♥

Finally, we entered into the 12^th date of 12^th month of 12^th year of this century. And clock is too showing 12-12 am when I am about to start this post which I myself doesn't know what I am gonna write in it.

11^th December, 2012

The sun was on time & shinning on his usual place. But I was on my couch, fully awaken but pretending to be sleepy under blanket with mobile in hand. I was waiting for her text, a morning wish which become a insulin for my senses to react everyday or I should say reason for me to wake up, my eyes are adamant to start to a day with her text, my ears are deeply waiting for the message tone & my hands are just hoping for the mobile to vibrate as early as possible. Time for to feel alive, message received.

(One message received)

Ayesha – Good Morning :)

Me- Good morning :) :)

I wait for message every day, just to confirm is she ok, is she all right or in short is she is living ♥

This is how I transformed from virtual dreaming to the textual reality daily. This is how I woke up every day.

Although, college is off for preparatory leave for exams. This was the reason I was still on my bed starting a day with shinning sun in the top to the vibration in my mobile phone.

(I know, I am terribly bad shayar, still I do manage have a romantic shayari every morning only for her ♥)

Me- “Ab karte hain naye din ke shuruwaat

         Mil jo gya tere choone ka ehsas

         Aise hee karte rehna tum mere dino ko roshan

        Tere msg ke baad hee aata hai meri aakhon mein motion “

Ayesha-  :) :)

I don’t know what kinda relation it is , but we haven’t named it as love , we haven’t fall into relationships , we haven’t promise to be a part each other’s life for forever. But we do care each other as lovers do, we do have endless talks as lovers do & we can’t stay without each other as lovers.

In short, what I can name it as ‘’More than the best friends but less than lovers.’’   If we are really soul mates then no one can part us in any way. And if we aren’t the ‘one made for each other’, any other guy could steal her from my wildest dreams. So, I dunno wanna pollute such a divine word i.e LOVE ♥. I am one woman man, so just waiting for right time.

It’s again my destiny which is overpowering my dwindling luck, completely blank for next move, now just waiting for what is pre-written in destiny rule book.

Days before love

Hi blogdosts!

Finally I am here again, to ruin your data of fast running internet .Thanks for coming here!

As you are here, so I make you sure, this post must be worth reading!

Before I initiate my post, I wanna fall you in fabricated situation of love, where you like a person & even you are sure of liking from yours partner too. You are hanging around with her, enjoying endless dates, watching movie on corner seats, recharging your mobile accounts in midnights just to say to good night to her, asking endless favors from her & Even you turned into a “Shayar” for her.

In short, you find yourself completely tuned up with her. And then your mind have train of thoughts, asks you numerous questions where avoiding one could be considered as favoritism to other. Is it one whom GOD has sent for you to write your entire life with her or is it one, whom I will forget like any chapter of life.

Then chain of questions, am I too victim of love or am I really enjoying my bachelorhood like others?

Do I really like her or Am I like any other jerk?

Do I really have feelings for her or should I consider myself Stud, which can make any girl to make her around?

Should I stick on that girl or should I wait for another Best girl to be the princess of heart again?

Do I propose her or Wait to let her propose me?

These are the days before love. Where we consider ourselves as “Brainless genes” .And we are unable to take any decision.

This is the story of mine, where I find myself stuck in various things.

Days before love are the best period of life, where you enjoy the same, what other is enjoying being in love with no commitment.If I follow the conventionally theory of love then I must have listen to violin ,sound of love once I saw her but I ant’s enjoying the same.

Now, I must request scientists to invent something like love meter, where anyone can check, how much you love your partner. Even it should be able to check sustainability of it , so that we can check how long will it be carried away!!

Off course, I am living with her but how can anyone say am I living only for her?

I know I am enjoying with her but how anyone can predict my meaning of enjoyment is her?

May be I could consider this thing as love, What if tomorrow it fled away!!

Huh!!
Creating mess in the mind!!

When you are unable to answer some questions , it's better to left it unanswered!!

 Another Attempt to fiction!!!

Memories of Past ♥

How can I forget you,,,

How can I forgive you,,,

How can I make you smile

When you don’t talk to me even for a while

You always promised to walk with me every mile

But you weren’t there even for a smile!!!

I wish I could erase her memories from my mind but till now Almighty GOD hasn’t made any system to do so. A guilt of past which may effect my future!!

Few meetings with her, makes me one who can write about her for rest of my life.

Life has taken sharp turns till now, but still my life hasn’t moved a bit. I am still thinking about her. I am still finding my mistakes which I didn’t do in order to prove her right.

I am still finding the reason, what had happened to us!!  But nothing successful came out.

That’s the story of every young person, who fails in his first love. Even I do have the interesting story. Story of emotions , Story of love & Story of luck.

Newly graduated from school entered college now with new hopes, new desires & with new friends. Haven’t thought even I could fall into prey of love with her eyes, her charisma, her personality, her aura, her looks, her imagination; they always make me feel jittery.

Time never is the same, during that period my heart forays with my mind to prepare a strategy for first talk & finally my heart succeeded & I was ready to talk with physical beauty for the first time after 6 months of colleges had already passed.

I used to visit the cafeteria ,just to enjoy drizzling beauty of her!

So, finally day was decided, venue got the nod by my mind authority checks & was ready with plan for my first move.

Being a non-believer of astrology, numerology & Taro cards, still I have gone though all just in order to confirm that everything was going in right direction or not.

Finally making so much of preparation, taking all the good lucks from near & dear ones, visiting all the temples, gurudwars & churches near by just in order confirm my first victory over my self just for a perfect start of a talk with dazzling beauty.

Finally the day arrived, clock strikes 12 pm looks like even clock is greeting me with ‘NAMASTE’. I never felt so different that day. Reached the desired venue, Cafeteria too packed with charming smiles , Felt like happiness everywhere seems as everyone has already know about my plan & they are here only to cheer me up.

So, took a seat near by & glued my eyes to the entrance. Soon my wait gets over & pink dressed angel arrived. A look towards her makes me forget for what purpose I am here.

She looked very happy ,just promising me that my first talk could be successful. But as it was my story , how GOD can plan it so smoothly!! 

She wasn't alone this time , she was coming  along with another boy not knowing who he was? .Rumours are high ,Boy like my angel ,have a feeling for her. But i didn't pay attention to that .i was focused towards my goal .

They  entered slowly towards the cafeteria , i can watch them from my near by window. once they  stepped inside the hall..Here my destiny comes into act. Suddenly cafeteria went dark only light focusing both of them. Then boy whom i never want to enter my story becomes the antagonist of my story & perposes her ''Will you be my only & forever angel for rest of my life?'' Without thinking for second ,she said ''YES''.As she was
born for that moment only.

 i was stunned , What had happened to me!! How angel of my life  migrated to  become another's angel  

in front of me. Here again , my destiny overcomes my dwindling luck! 

What the F**k ! what the f**K!! what the f**K!!!

 At that tym i came to know , Heart doesn't had feelings , it can't love , it can't think . iT's just a medical organ which supports us to live. 

Love -The sweet illusion ♥ ♥ ♥

Hi Blogdosts!!

Learning comes from an experience & Life is a school in which everyone fails with Dead End. Today what we are, how we behave, kinda personality we have all because of endless experience learning from limited life that we had live till of now. So, no one is God or Devil it’s all because of his past experiences. By the time you end reading it, you will be 3 minutes older from what you are now so I made the best effort to make it worth.

Sometimes life seems completely unpredictable , Firstly we ran for something , wanna achieve that thing so hard such that nothing can comparable to  that need & once we achieved it it has lost it’s value. And the hunt for new lucrative target begins. Our life seems bounded into working for priceless things & then converting into no price.

                                                     

There might be a time in everyone’s life when someone wants you so badly that he doesn’t wanna miss a single second to be with you. He tried every good or bad move, intentionally or unintentionally to be with you. And once he realized that you are part of his life, suddenly he stops bothering you.

In today’s digital world, where becoming a friend is just one click away & it hardly takes 5 seconds to change relationship status.How any one can expect to find true love & Friendship?

Cigarette of Love was burnt in initial centaury  in which love was flew away in smoke leaving behind the ashes of smoke to digital centaury as a proof of it’s existence.

In the world of realistic people where love is chased as an asset and even people will invest their own love asset in you to gain their needs. We the people come as an individual & will go as an individual, trust me even we can lead it as individual.

At last ,I Believe  love is just an illusion , Some of you  might believe or some of you might not .For those who believes love is God…………..jst wanna say…Come out of the ILLUSION.